I was cranky when I posted about the Senate Bill, mostly because of the lack of retroactivity (meaning that statutes were not revived for victims who had proof of crimes, but whose time limit had already passed).
I shouldn’t have been.
In fact, these bills are great first steps in allowing victims more time to heal and come to terms with their abuse in order to report the crime.
Hopefully, they will also embolden state lawmakers to pass robust retroactive civil laws that get predators off the streets RIGHT NOW.
As I stated in my previous post, little has changed in the Diocese of Orange since 2005, when church officials settled sex abuse and cover-up lawsuits with 87 child victims.
I’d thought I share a little Facebook proof with you.
Now I will admit, I have been sitting on this information for a while. The reasons, like this post, were personal.
I know, love, and respect many of the people who were at this spring’s Mater Dei High School Grand Reunion (people like my father, who were pretty disgusted to see what I am about to show you here). My dad is almost 80, and going to his high school reunions are an annual treat (yes, they have them almost every year). I didn’t want to ruin it for him and his friends by ranting right away.
Two-time accused former faculty member enjoys the reunion
Two-time accused and sued vice-principal John Merino attends Mater Dei HS Grand Reunion
Yep, THAT John Merino. Two sex abuse cases against him settled in 2005. he was the guy who, along with former principal and 25-time accused predator Michael Harris, took a “special graduating senior boy” to NYC every year to see Broadway musicals. And shared a room.
By the way, current school president Patrick Murphy was at the reunion, stumping for cash. Murphy was school president during the sex abuse lawsuit scandal of 2003-2005 and was principal when Merino was “let go” from the school in 2001. So no one can claim ignorance.
Exhibit #2
Principal who covered up abuse says Mass at Grand Reunion
And it wasn’t just my abuse he covered up. Weling was principal right after serial predator Michael Harris. Weiling had to play a lot of clean up …
Maybe they should try to PRETEND to care
Again, it’s about optics. There are A LOT of sex abuse victims from Mater Dei. But for Mater Dei and the Diocese of Orange, it’s all about collecting cash.
I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday who had just read a pretty expansive article on child sexual abuse and civil laws. What struck her was the author’s (correct) assertion that most child predators are NOT pedophiles.
Of course, I said. True “pedophiles,” that is, adults who are sexually attracted to prepubescent children, are only a small portion of the people who prey on children.
But the media and apologists tend to only focus on them, even though there is a far larger and more diverse population of people who commit sex crimes against children.
Jared Fogle: was is pedophila or was it power? Does it matter to the victim?
This is something that the survivors’ community knows well, but that gets lost in the great discussion.
An example: Bill Donohue, the president of the (somewhat questionable) Catholic League, is always quick to say that most of the sexual abuse in the Catholic Church is “ephebophila,” a non-specific term meant to describe adults who are attracted to children who have reached or in the middle of puberty. He says it’s less of a crime and less damaging to the children. Nothing could be more wrong.
When we use labels like “pedophila” and “ephebophilia,” we make child sexual abuse all about sex. But it isn’t about sex: it’s about power. Otherwise, why else would a child bully and sexually abuse another child? Why would sports hazing move into sexual assault and rape? Why would a teacher molest dozens of high school students? It’s the power.
Puberty is a physical state, not an emotional one. In my son’s school, there are 12 year olds who look like they are barely nine. There are 12 year olds who look like they are 17. They are vastly different physically, even though emotionally and mentally, they are at the exact same maturity level.
And here is what we need to understand: children are horribly damaged by abuse, no matter how “physically developed” they are. Any adult who would sexually abuse a kid wants the power. Sex is secondary.
The age of the perpetrator is also secondary. The young child who is sexually abused by a 15-year-old can be just as damaged and just as scarred as the young child molested by the adult. The 15-year-old molested by an adult can suffer the same psychic damage as a 9-year-old.
It’s time to shift the focus away from categorizing predators. It’s time to instead focus on victims and ending the crime.
Parents of sexual abuse victims carry an awful and painful burden. Ms. Concepcion only wanted the best for her son. She had no idea that she was possibly putting her child in the path of a predator. We hope that Ms. Concepcion finds the peace and healing she so deeply deserves. Her powerful words and story have made is safer for victims of abuse everywhere—no matter the predator—to come forward and find healing and justice.
Two brave people have now come forward to allege child sexual abuse at the hands of Archbishop Apuron. The time for “internal investigations,” bullying parishioners, and maintaining the status quo is over.
It is time for the Vatican and Pope Francis to adhere to their promises of child safety. They must immediately step in and publicly remove Apuron from his office until a complete and independent investigation is complete.
In the meantime, Apuron should and must do the right thing and voluntarily step aside. No cleric, especially an archbishop, should remain in ministry when he has two credible allegations of abuse that have not been investigated.
We implore other victims to come forward to law enforcement and civil authorities. As Roy Quintanilla and Doris Concepcion have shown Guam’s victims of abuse, help and support are available.
Parents of teens and tweens have special concerns about their children’s safety. They came to me in droves asking me to create a stand-alone book—a book that only talks about the issues that older children and their parents face.
Do you know that the sexual abuse and exploitation of teens is a national problem?
Do you know what makes a teen vulnerable to predators?
Do you know how to protect your teen online and off? And …
Do you know that protecting your teen from abuse and exploitation is easy?
This short, easy-to-read ebook will show you what you need to know.
You don’t need to have an eReader to share the benefits of the book. It can be easily read on your computer, tablet, or phone (if you like really tiny books or aren’t rapidly sliding into middle age like me).
