The Worthy Adversary

Author: Joelle Casteix

  • What is “grooming” and how do child predators target children?

    Grooming is a predator’s “ticket” to your child. It is the careful means by which a predator befriends, flatters, builds trust, removes inhibitions, and blurs sexual and body boundaries in order to make a child an “easy” target for abuse—a child who does not fight back and is far less likely to report.

    Grooming is a slow and insidious process, intended to manipulate the child into thinking that the abuse is his or her fault and ensure that the child is confused and will not actively resist. It is such a successful tactic that the majority of child sexual abuse is not under physical force or the threat of physical force. It also helps a predator ensure that the victim is less likely to report the crime, due to the child’s shame, guilt, and confusion.

    Many predators also carefully groom families so that if the child does disclose, his or her parents will not believe the child.

    Some signs of grooming include when a predator:

    • Shares secrets with a child
    • Gives a child gifts or money
    • Gives a child alcohol, drugs, or pornography
    • Spends large amounts of time with the child alone
    • Engages in long hugging, touching, kissing or “accidental” touching that is sexualized
    • Takes the child alone on overnight trips
    • Tells the child s/he is “mature” for his/her age
    • Engages in sexual talk or jokes
    • Discusses adult subjects with the child, including marital problems, emotional troubles, financial difficulties
    • Threatens the child if the child tells the adult’s secrets

    This list is by no means comprehensive. But remember: your gut is usually your best guide. If something makes you feel “hinky”, go with your gut, ask questions, and do everything in your power to stop the cycle of abuse.

  • The Best Revolutions Begin With One Small Action

    This blog has long rallied against the problem of the cover-up of sexual abuse in public schools. Unfortunately, the victims in these cases—when they are ready and able to come forward and get accountability— usually don’t have criminal and civil rights to expose the abuse. As a result, victims and the public are seldom, if ever, able to learn the full story.

    The only times we do get a peek into how alleged sex offenders in public school are treated (unless they are arrested) is when scandal breaks. For example, when the Miramonte child sex abuse scandal broke in Los Angeles, we learned a ton: accused teachers were suspended with pay; teachers arrested for abuse were getting huge payoffs; teachers unions were paying big money to block bills which would have expedited the removal of sex-offending teachers; and, of course, we learned about the infamous “teacher jail,” where teachers accused of inappropriate contact sit idly at taxpayer expense.

    For parents and the 99.9% of good teachers out there, this is appalling stuff. Children are second priorities and the reputations of an entire class of hard-working, law-abiding public educators are sullied.

    But a little law in Hawaii may be starting a revolution.

    On Friday, Hawaii’s civil window for victims of child sex abuse was extended for two more years. But it was also expanded. The new law added the state and counties as potential defendants. That means that if kids were sexually abused in public schools and institutions, they have the next two years to come forward and expose the crime. And if the crime was covered up by a government official, school administration, or bureaucracy, we will find that out, too.

    My hope? Other states will look to Hawaii as an example. And a revolution will begin.

     

     

  • Big News: Hawaii Civil Window for child sex abuse victims EXTENDED; Includes public schools

    Hawaii Governor Neil Abercrombie just signed a law that extends Hawaii’s two-year civil window for sex abuse victims.

    But there’s more: victims in public schools are NOW eligible for accountability under the new law. For the first time, sex offenders in public schools and the people who covered up for them—including powerful unions and other gov’t officials—are liable for the crimes of predatory gov’t employees.

    Thank you Senator Maile Shimabukuro for your tireless work on behalf of victims.

    From the Honolulu Star Advertiser:

    New law adds time to file abuse suits

    By Derrick DePledge 


    Gov. Neil Abercrombie on Friday signed a bill into law that will extend a window for another two years to file lawsuits over decades-old childhood sexual abus    e and allow suits to be brought against the state and counties.

    Dozens of child sex abuse lawsuits have been filed in Hawaii against the clergy, churches and others over the past two years after the state temporarily lifted the statute of limitations to bring claims. The new law extends the window until April 2016 and adds the state and counties as potential defendants.

    Victims must prove gross negligence on the part of private organizations or the state — a legal standard meant to discourage frivolous accusations.
    The Roman Catholic Church and others have opposed lifting the statute of limitations on lawsuits, arguing that it is difficult to defend against abuse c    laims that could be decades old. But the church had urged that the state and counties be covered by the law if it were extended, contending it was unfair to hold only private organizations financially accountable for abuse.

    Abercrombie vetoed a similar bill in 2011, citing concerns about due process rights and the unknown financial liability to the state.

    “I think the issue trumps the state’s interest as expressed then,” the governor said Friday. “I think you have to put the human condition first.”

    Abercrombie also signed a bill into law Friday that lifts the statute of limitations for criminal prosecution of first- and second-degree sexual assault and for the continuous sexual assault of a minor under age 14. Murder, attempted murder, conspiracy to commit murder and murder-for-hire had been the only other crimes under state law with no statute of limitations.

    “People can tell their story, and they don’t have to do it within a certain amount of time,” said state Rep. Mele Carroll (D, Lanai-Molo­kai-Paia-Hana), chairwoman of the House Human Services Committee, who had worked on both sex abuse bills.

    Abercrombie signed several other criminal justice bills into law Friday, part of a flurry of bill signings this week. The governor has a Monday deadline to inform the Legislature of bills on his potential veto list. All bills awaiting action that are not on the list automatically become law.

    The signings Friday included a law that clarifies that police officers cannot legally have sex with prostitutes as part of sting operations, a law that criminalizes so-called “revenge porn” as a privacy violation and a law that sets a mandatory minimum of one year in prison for habitual property crime.

    New laws would also establish a fund for victims of human trafficking, financed by fees on people convicted of labor trafficking and prostitution crimes, and a fund to fight Internet crimes against children, financed by fees on people convicted of child abuse and enticement offenses.

    The law on Internet crimes against children is known nationally as “Alicia’s Law,” named for Alicia Koza­kiew­icz, a Pittsburgh girl who was 13 when she was abducted and assaulted in 2002 by a man she met in an Internet chat room.

  • Lawsuit: White House “Model” program didn’t report child sex abuse

    **Update** Thanks Glenn Reynolds for the INSTALANCHE!

    This press release crossed my desk this morning. Apparently, the White House and the US Department of Education didn’t check to make sure that their “model” program knew how to report suspected abuse.

    As I have noted before, child-on-child abuse is just as damaging as any other kind of child sexual abuse and should NEVER be covered up.

    Sac Lawsuit: “Model” Educational Program Didn’t Report Sexual Abuse

    Six-Year-Old Violently Molested by 10-Year-Old

    White House-Praised Program Knew of Risk, Did Nothing

    Regulators Cited After School Program for “lack of supervision” in Restrooms

    In a lawsuit filed last month, the mother of a 6-year-old victim of child sex abuse charges that officials at a popular Sacramento-area after school program knew that a 10-year-old student had a history of sexually provocative behavior at the school, but did not inform parents or Child Protective Services of the danger.

    The suit, filed in Placer County Superior Court, says that STAR NOVA, an afterschool program operating at Twelve Bridges Elementary, had evidence that a 10-year-old student in the program had engaged in dangerous behaviors, including making other children undress, sexually-explicit language, and violence. Instead of intervening and contacting Child and Protective Services or law enforcement, school administrators did nothing to stop the child.

    In March 2013, the lawsuit says, the now emboldened 10-year-old took the six-year-old special needs student into the bathroom, where he forcibly undressed the younger boy and sexually assaulted him. The victim reported the abuse to his mother, who informed officials at Twelve Bridges Elementary. School officials filed a report with CPS that day. As a result of an investigation by Department of Social Services, Community Care Licensing Division, the STAR NOVA Program was cited with a civil penalty and required to inform all new and returning parents of the allegations, which Social Services deemed credible.

    Twelve Bridges Elementary is in the West Placer Unified School District. Because the 10-year-old is a minor, his identity and current situation are confidential.

    “STAR NOVA boasts that it was selected as a model program by the White House and U.S. Department of Education. Yet, when a child in the program exhibited dangerous sexual behavior, STAR NOVA turned a blind eye.” said Dr. Joseph C. George, an attorney for the victim. “As a result, an extremely vulnerable six-year-old special needs child was sexually assaulted.”

    He also praised the victim in this case.

    “It is extremely difficult for a child to talk about sexual violence,” George said. “The fact that this child told his mother about the abuse is the only reason a sexually violent child was stopped. STAR NOVA administrators could have intervened and saved the victim and others from the trauma of abuse, but they didn’t. Organizations like that should not be allowed to supervise children.”

    You can read the lawsuit here .

  • A bishop’s “epic fail” is a lesson to all of us: How to report abuse

    St. Louis Archbishop Robert Carlson has a lesson for all of us, and I don’t think it’s the lesson he intended.

    The situation: When asked by victims’ attorney Jeff Anderson in a recent deposition if he knew in the 1984 that child sex abuse was a crime, Carlson responded, “I’m not sure if I did or I didn’t.” The result: he didn’t report. Countless children were put at risk and many others were abused because he couldn’t pick up the phone and call the police.

    Which leads to the following question: Do YOU know how to report suspected or witnessed abuse?

    I am going to go into much greater detail on this subject in my upcoming book, but I feel that it’s necessary to post and repost this information as much as possible.

    First, some assumptions: I consider everyone a mandatory reporter. Child sex abuse is a crime with lasting consequences. There is a victim and an alleged criminal. If you see or suspect abuse, it’s an adult’s civic and moral obligation to report.

    If you are a mandatory reporter in the eyes of the law, your employer should provide you specific training on your reporting procedures. If you have not had that training in the past year, demand that your employer provide it to all mandatory reporters at your work.

    How to report child sexual abuse

    If you are a victim or witness abuse:

    1) If you are a victim of sexual assault, call 911. If it is not an emergency requiring immediate medical care, call your local police department and ask to speak to someone who can take a report of the sexual assault of a(n) child/adult. If you feel that it’s necessary to call 911, do it.

    2) If you see sexual abuse taking place, call 911. Treat the crime like a robbery, car accident or shooting. It’s a crime that needs immediate attention.

    NOTE: Do not rely on your institution (whether it be a church, school, university, community group, or your boss) to do the reporting for you. If you witnessed a shooting, you would call the cops, not your supervisor. Child sex abuse is the same. Plus, we have seen time and time again that institutions (especially churches and universities) are NOT in the abuse investigation business. Internal investigations do not protect victims and do not protect the rights of the accused. 

    If you suspect child sex abuse:

    1) Call the ChildHelpUSA national child abuse reporting hotline at 1-800-4ACHILD. They also have a website that is well worth your review now, before you encounter a situation where you need immediate answers. When you call the hotline, a trained crisis operation will talk to you about what you saw, what you suspect, and the next steps you should take. They will carefully walk you through the entire process.

    2) Call the specific agency in your state that handles the investigation of child sex crimes. You can read a list of them here. I suggest going over them now, before you are in a situation where you need to report.

    3) If you suspect that a child who is not your child is being abused and the parents are not the suspected abusers, talk to the parents. If you think that the parents will not take action and the child is in danger, call ChildHelpUSA. They will help you assess your suspicions and alert you of the next steps you should take.

    NOTE: You are not an investigator and you do not need to have “proof” of the abuse to report. That is the job of the police. Report your suspicions and let law enforcement do its job.

    Some red flags:

    1) Your employer says that you should report suspected abuse to them before calling the police or ChildHelp. (Think of it this way – if there was a shooting going on, you would call 911 without getting your supervisor on the phone, right?)

    2) If an employer or institution says that they “need to investigate this internally” before calling ChildHelp, the police, or social services.

    My take? Report anyway.

    And if you’re scared or reticent of “making a mistake” by reporting:

    Organizations like ChildHelp were founded to help people correctly report crimes. They also can tell a concerned adult when there is no crime to report.

    Now what?

    Most of us will never be in a situation where we need to report. But we will encounter people who need our help. Learn what sexual behaviors in children are healthy and which ones need direct attention. Learn the signs of abuse. Learn the signs of sexual grooming.

    Most importantly: Talk to your kids. Chances are they will listen.