My latest piece in the Generation X: Are You There God, It’s Me blog focuses on the Duggars and five things we can all do to prevent and identify child-on-child abuse.
You can read it here.
Category: Parenting
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TEDx PasadenaWomen
It’s been two weeks since I was on the TEDx stage. I am still reeling at the amazing day, the supernatural speakers, and the wonderful friends I made. I spoke about the power of responsibility and how—when we take responsibility for our emotions, reactions, and decisions—we can create the future that we WANT.
Other speakers talked about virtual reality, focusing on the WHAT instead of the WHO, space exploration, financial health, cutting men some well-deserved slack, the future of global journalism, roller derby and motherhood, and taking power back during and after cancer. (p.s. buy a Fighter T – even if you don’t have cancer or a recent surgery, it’s a great shirt for any woman. And the WHY? Foundation working to get these T’s in the hands of women with breast cancer who can’t afford them)
Every speaker was a badass and a fighter. All of us had a message. All of us faced odds and won. I am so honored to have shared that stage with those men and women.
My talk is scheduled to be online by the end of June. I will provide a link as soon as I have one.
My sister Jennifer and I “grace” the red carpet 
The control center 
Rehearsals 
My name tag said “speaker.” I guess I didn’t just imagine this whole thing. 
Jimmy Carter simulcast 
The momentum audio library – attendees were able to podcast their inspirations, aspirations, and motivations 
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Ambassador of Peace
Last week, I learned that I have been selected as a 2015 Ambassador of Peace award winner by the Violence Prevention Coalition of Orange County. That’s some pretty cool news!
I was nominated by my cousin and friend Darcy Fehringer-Mask*, who won the award herself in 2008 for her work in diversity and anti-bias education, including bullying awareness and prevention. I was chosen for my work on behalf of victims of child sexual abuse, prevention and awareness education, and my efforts towards changing civil and criminal statutes of limitations for sex crimes against children.
Looking at the other winners, I’m in awesome company and am very humbled by the honor.
The ceremony is a June 5 luncheon in Costa Mesa. Let me know if you want to come. I’ll save you a seat!
*While Darcy still does great work in that field, she focuses most of her time on her photography business. Like my headshots? See more here.
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Inside the TEDx speaker’s mind
What do you do when you get the chance of a lifetime?
Worry. And sweat.
I was selected to be a speaker for the May 30 TEDx Pasadena Women conference. Being a speaker at TED and TEDx are HUGE goals of mine … so I have to admit: when I received the acceptance, I thought that (perhaps) they had made a mistake and sent the invite to the wrong person. So, I did what I was supposed to do (send in materials, bio, etc), and I waited for the “Oops! Never mind,” email.
When instead, I was given the speaker’s checklist, I knew that I was in.
Between now and May 29 (when we have our dress rehearsal), it’s time to dive into my talk. I already have a first draft, but I know that it’s going to change as the days pass. The folks at TEDx have great coaches who will help be hone my message, and I am sure that my friends will get sick and tired of having to watch me practice. I don’t want to go into this unprepared—TEDx is only the first part of the goal. I want to grace the main TED stage … and soon. And since I am not a household name (yet), I’m going to have to do my best to dazzle the powers that be.
What I am I worried about right now? There are two things: one biological and one mental.
The first is a doozy: I sweat when I am nervous. I sweat a lot. Which is odd, because in every other aspect of my life, I am not a sweaty person. Even when I do press conferences, I don’t sweat. I was never sweaty when I was a performer. But the last thing I want is an HD video of my talk on YouTube with HD focus on my sweaty pits. (“Gee, I think I remember Joelle’s talk. But someone tell that girl to wear antiperspirant!”)
The second? I bet you can guess. Can I pull it off? Is my message powerful enough? Can I deliver it in a way that makes a difference? Will people say: Joelle changed the way I look at the world … ? Will I engage the audience? Will I make people laugh? Am I good enough?
Antiperspirant is the easy part. The rest will take hard work.
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A wake-up call for the Boy Scouts
The victim, who waited until after he earned the honor of Eagle Scout to file the lawsuit, was molested by a former Assistant Scout Master who was criminally convicted of lewd and lascivious acts with the victim in this case as well as another boy. The convicted Scout Master is also an Eagle Scout.
The victim held up his end of the bargain. Now it’s time for the Scouts to uphold theirs.
I was honored to be at the press conference and speak with the victim and his father. It’s not often that I get to meet victims who are brave enough to come forward at such a young age.
And there were also some pretty disturbing revelations. The molester in this case was young—20 years old at the time of the abuse. He sexually assaulted the victim when he was 13 and 15.
Why are the Scouts liable? Other scout leaders were inclined to give the predator a “pass.” Even though they saw suspicious and/or criminal behavior, they thought that a former Eagle Scout was beyond reproach. Others may have also considered the 20-year-old predator “one of the boys” and did not understand the severe imbalance of power that existed.
Not only was the victim a child and the predator an adult—but the victim in this case wanted to be an Eagle Scout. The only way to do that? Uphold the Boy Scout Law:
A Scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly,
courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty,
brave, clean, and reverent.And when your scoutmaster (who is a fairly recent Eagle Scout) holds your future and dreams in his grip, your options are clear: Obedience, reverence, and loyalty.
The victim was physically, emotionally and psychologically powerless … but he’s not anymore.
The lesson here: No oath or law will protect your child. It’s up to parents and caregivers to protect, inform, and empower.