It’s been two weeks since I was on the TEDx stage. I am still reeling at the amazing day, the supernatural speakers, and the wonderful friends I made. I spoke about the power of responsibility and how—when we take responsibility for our emotions, reactions, and decisions—we can create the future that we WANT.
Every speaker was a badass and a fighter. All of us had a message. All of us faced odds and won. I am so honored to have shared that stage with those men and women.
My talk is scheduled to be online by the end of June. I will provide a link as soon as I have one.
My sister Jennifer and I “grace” the red carpet
The control center
Rehearsals
My name tag said “speaker.” I guess I didn’t just imagine this whole thing.
Jimmy Carter simulcast
The momentum audio library – attendees were able to podcast their inspirations, aspirations, and motivations
Less than two weeks ago, prosecutors filed criminal charges against the archdiocese. Although Nienstedt and Piché were not charged, the complaint outlined how both men knew about abuse and did little to nothing to protect children.
The resignations a positive moves and show a huge step in the right direction when it comes to punishing church officials who covered up abuse. Following on the heals of the resignation of Kansas City-St. Joseph Bishop Robert Finn, these ousters are well-needed, if not very overdue.
But Francis is not a brave reformer.
Before you wag your fingers at me and say, “Gee, Joelle! Why are you always so critical? Francis is doing great things. He’s different,” we need to take note of some very important facts:
1) The Vatican was not the group that exposed the wrongdoing of these bishops.
2) The only reason we know about the scope and scale of crimes in Minnesota is because of their three-year civil window for victims.
Recently Minnesota passed The Child Victims’ Act, a three-year “window” that allows victims of child sex crimes to use the civil court to expose their abusers and get justice, no matter when the abuse occurred.
As more and more victims came forward to file child sex abuse and cover-up lawsuits, their attorneys were able to get access to and expose THOUSANDS of secret internal church documents that outlined how men like Nienstedt and former vicar general Kevin McDonough knew about abuse and abusers and did NOTHING to protect children at risk.
3) Francis is not the reformer. Survivors who use the civil courts are the true reformers in this story. Francis is only reacting to bad press.
Shrewd? Yes. Brave? Nah, not really.
Pope Francis is coming to the US later this year. He and his astute PR team saw the writing on the wall. They realized that if they did nothing, the entire trip would be marred by questions about abuse and cover-up (especially in the case of Finn, who was convicted of child endangerment). Instead of interviewing happy Catholics and gushing US leaders, the press would focus on victims’ groups and advocacy organizations who (rightfully) demand change.
In accepting these bishops’ resignation, the Vatican made the shrewd move.
One of the hardest things that many adult survivors of child sexual abuse will ever do is come forward and tell someone. Even if the survivor finally discloses decades after the crime, the pain is still fresh and the shame still stings.
But for the person the survivor tells, hearing the news and knowing how to react in a compassionate, safe, and empowering way can be almost as difficult.
This easy-to-use book gives friends, spouses, and loved ones guidelines on compassionate responses and appropriate resources—including services, information on civil and criminal statutes of limitation, and support—that can help adult survivors of child sex begin the path towards healing.
Una de las situaciones más difíciles que pueden experimentar muchos sobrevivientes adultos de abuso sexual es tomar la decisión de contárselo a alguien. Incluso si el sobreviviente finalmente lo revela muchas décadas después de que el abuso sucedió, el dolor todavía se seguirá sintiendo como algo reciente y la vergüenza todavía lastimará.
No obstante, para la persona a quien el sobreviviente le cuenta el suceso, puede ser casi igual de difícil escuchar la noticia y saber cómo reaccionar de manera compasiva, segura y fortalecedora.
Escrito por una sobreviviente que es una experta nacional en el tema, este libro fácil de leer es el punto de partida perfecto para alguien que conoce a un sobreviviente adulto de abuso sexual infantil.
Relationships are brutal, honest, naked, and charged—few more so than those between women who are brave enough to trust each other beyond small talk and social niceties. Lisa Lutz (author of The Spellman series) in her latest novel HOW TO START A FIRE, creates a complex and page-turning saga of three women—imperfect and completely human—as they grow from college to almost-middle-age.
What makes this book so readable and intriguing is the compassion and integrity she maintains for her three main characters, who—while quirky—are elevated beyond cookie-cutter stereotypes.
Coupled with a rapid-action storyline, Lutz’ razor-sharp insight draws the reader into a world where nothing is black and white, but where everyone has a capacity for forgiveness and redemption.
Kind of like friendship itself.
A great read.
From the publisher:
From a bestselling writer, a story of unexpected friendship—three women thrown together in college who grow to adulthood united and divided by secrets, lies, and a single night that shaped all of them
When UC Santa Cruz roommates Anna and Kate find passed-out Georgiana Leoni on a lawn one night, they wheel her to their dorm in a shopping cart. Twenty years later, they gather around a campfire on the lawn of a New England mansion. What happens in between—the web of wild adventures, unspoken jealousies, and sudden tragedies that alter the course of their lives—is charted with sharp wit and aching sadness in this meticulously constructed novel.
I was nominated by my cousin and friend Darcy Fehringer-Mask*, who won the award herself in 2008 for her work in diversity and anti-bias education, including bullying awareness and prevention. I was chosen for my work on behalf of victims of child sexual abuse, prevention and awareness education, and my efforts towards changing civil and criminal statutes of limitations for sex crimes against children.
Looking at the other winners, I’m in awesome company and am very humbled by the honor.
The ceremony is a June 5 luncheon in Costa Mesa. Let me know if you want to come. I’ll save you a seat!
*While Darcy still does great work in that field, she focuses most of her time on her photography business. Like my headshots? See more here.
