The Worthy Adversary

Category: Parenting

  • Shattuck-St. Mary’s Part Three: Inside the mind of a predator

     

    I give you two predators: One fictional. One real.

    The similarities will stun you.

    Tom Riddle, predator
    Tom Riddle

    “It’s very boring, having to listen to the silly little troubles of an eleven-year-old girl,” he went on. “But I was patient. I wrote back. I was sympathectic, I was kind. Ginny simply loved me. No one’s ever understood me like you, Tom …I’m so glad I’ve got this diary to confide in … It’s like having a friend I can carry around in my pocket. …

    “If I say it myself, Harry, I’ve always been able to charm the people I needed”

    -Tom Riddle (AKA Voldemort) Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

    Lynn Seibel
    Lynn Seibel

    “I was the guru, so to speak. And … and it was part of my nature to be manipulative. Which is what happened. And I manipulated these young men into doing things that … that were gratifying for me …

    And … and the students were very curious about sex. And I was just … it just … played into my need for attention …

    I had a good reputation. That’s the point. They trusted me … and I betrayed them …

    Every one of those kids … I gave the impression that this wasn’t about sex. I gave them the impression that this was Professor Seibel teaching them how to make [their penises larger] … that I had no interest in them sexually. They had no idea … I was abusing them …

    They were innocent and I betrayed them. The shame … I don’t want them to have to live with that …

    This is a terrible thing I did and none of them should have to take any blame. None of them should have to take any of it on themselves. I did it. Manipulated them. I’m a master of manipulation and I did it for my own … I did it for me …

    It’s not [the boys’] fault. No.”

    – Convicted child predator Lynn Seibel in a sworn 2014 deposition

    Lynn Seibel was convicted of sexually abusing six Shattuck-St. Mary’s students in 2013. He was sentenced to 52 months in prison. This deposition is a part of the victims’ civil case, which charges that Shattuck-St. Mary’s officials covered up child pornography and sexual abuse.

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    Shattuck-St. Mary’s, home of a child sex scandal and cover-up

  • The Total Failure of Shattuck-St. Mary’s

    A boarding school. Naked dance parties. Child pornography. Molestation. An arrest. A suicide. Allegations. Lawsuits.

    A cover-up.

    Total institutional ethical failure.

    20121010_shattuck3_33

    When I first heard about the scandal at Minnesota’s Shattuck-St. Mary’s (I’ll refer to it from now on as SSM), I had a hard time wrapping my arms around the extent of the criminal behavior. And let’s face it, I am not a novice when it comes to these cases. It takes a lot to shock me.

    SSM, a grade 6-12 Episcopal boarding and day school located about 50 miles from Minneapolis, also reminds me of a school a little closer to home—one that suffered its own huge institutional failure when it came to child sex abuse and cover-up.

    There is so much to discuss, that I have decided to write a series of posts about SSM and what happened. I am also going to try and tackle some of the questions we are all asking. Things like:

    I am also going to look at some of the players—people like:

    That’s a lot to talk about. But the only way to stop this kind of cover-up in the future is to truly understand how and why it happened here.

     

  • Three Easy Tips to Protect Your Preschooler

    Preschooler safety tips

     

     

  • Do you know the signs of child sex trafficking?

     

    I didn’t … and note: these children can be as young as 11

    From today’s OC Register (emphasis mine):

    Though there isn’t a single background or profile that describes all those girls, summit presenters said there are typical risk factors – including poverty, family dysfunction, learning disabilities, childhood sexual abuse, isolation, emotional distress and lack of social support.

    Presenters asked teachers to keep an eye open for certain behavioral indicators of trafficking – ranging from sporadic attendance and signs of physical bruises or depression, to a student having a noticeably older boyfriend, getting a “branding” tattoo or saying she is employed, even though she lacks a work permit.

    Read the whole thing.

     

  • Ask a Question Friday: How can I learn more about the Survivors’ Movement

     

    (Note: Yes, I am actually posting this on a Friday. Shocker.)

    How can I learn more about the Survivors’ Movement and SNAP, that organization with whom you do so much work? Is there anywhere I can hear the best and brightest speakers on the topic and meet people who are working for justice for adult victims of child sexual abuse (as well as stopping the cycle and preventing abuse)?

    The best place to learn about the Survivors’ Movement and legislative change, hear the latest news, meet leaders and newsmakers, and get the best information on abuse prevention and victim healing is to attend the SNAP (the Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests) Annual Conference. I am not a huge fan of conferences, but the SNAP conference—scheduled for July 31-August in Washington, D.C. (Alexandria, VA)—hosts the best and brightest speakers who are totally engaged in helping survivors and protecting kids. You can go for a day or the whole weekend.

    If you are interested in presenting, you can download the request for proposals here.

    The organizers do a great job every year to make the conference fun, engaging, relevant, and life-changing. You will do yourself a service by attending.