Dozens of predators. Decades of cover-up. Serving survivors with subpoenas. I didn’t think that Mater Dei High School and the Diocese of Orange could top themselves. But alas …
Today’s example: The high school recently published its 75th anniversary oral history—a book meant to celebrate the school’s legacy with stories from former students and staff. Blah blah blah … you know how it goes.
And in it, they included a glowing tribute to a man who sexually abused me. And other girls.
Yeah. No f-ing joke.
Let me say that again, because it matters: They know. They KNOW he abused girls.
They have known for years. But yet, they subpoenaed me. They forced me to turn over thousands of emails and messages. They discussed going after my personal records going back to 2012.
They know exactly who he is and what he did.
And they still chose to honor him.
And think about this: if this is a “simple oversight,” what else do they consider “simple mistakes?” What other crimes “fall through the cracks?”
This isn’t about her
The quote in the book comes from a woman who had wonderful memories of choir. Good for her. People are allowed to have their memories. Abuse doesn’t erase the fact that someone may have seemed talented, kind, or inspiring to others. That’s part of what makes this so complicated.
She told her story. That’s her right. It’s what happened NEXT that matters.
This is about Mater Dei
This is about the institution that chose to print it.
A 75th anniversary book isn’t random. It’s curated. Edited. Approved. It reflects what the school wants to say about itself.
And what Mater Dei chose to say—knowing everything they know—is this: He belongs in our legacy.
This is how it keeps happening
People always ask how abuse like this goes on for so long. This is how. Not just in the moment of abuse—but in everything that comes after. Even almost 40 years later.
In what gets remembered. In who gets protected. In whose voices matter—and whose don’t.
Because when an institution continues to celebrate someone who caused harm, even after the truth is known, it sends a very clear message: We are more comfortable honoring him than acknowledging survivors.
I want to be really clear about something
This isn’t ignorance. That argument is gone.
They don’t get to say they “didn’t know.” They don’t get to say this slipped through. They don’t get to hide behind nostalgia.
They knew. And they made a decision.
It didn’t have to be this way
There were so many other options:
They could have left him out. They could have exercised basic judgment. They could have said, “We’re not going to celebrate someone who harmed students.”
That’s not complicated. That’s the bare minimum.
But they didn’t
And at some point, we have to stop pretending this is accidental. This is a choice about values. THEIR values.
They have made it clear that their values are trash.
Here’s the part they don’t seem to understand
You don’t get to say you care about students— while honoring someone who violated them. You don’t get both.
In closing …
In my last post, I wrote about how Mater Dei subpoenaed me—how they tried to dig through years of my life, my emails, my messages, my records—looking for something to discredit me. They went looking for dirt on me while already knowing the truth about him. And now, seeing this, it’s impossible to ignore what that really was: not a search for truth, but a defense of their crimes. Because while they were trying to break me down behind the scenes, they were still building him up in public. That’s the part they can’t spin, and they can’t explain away. You don’t subpoena a survivor on one page—and honor her abuser on the next—and call that anything but exactly what it is.