“The realization that I had used, willingly and unwillingly, my charm for the wrong reasons.” This was a quote from Joseph L. Bishop. He has admitted to “acting inappropriately” (read: sexually assaulting) numerous women during his career in the LDS church. It was the use of the word CHARM that got me. He still, at…Continue reading A note on predatory grooming
A very good friend of mine pointed me to a recent review of Eimear McBride’ novel A GIRL IS A HALF-FORMED THING. The author of the review, Paige Reynolds, includes this very intuitive and honest description of some of the reasons why the sexual abuse of teens can be so damaging: The novel thus showcases the…Continue reading A novel peek into the “convoluted world” of grooming
Grooming is a predator’s “ticket” to your child. It is the careful means by which a predator befriends, flatters, builds trust, removes inhibitions, and blurs sexual and body boundaries in order to make a child an “easy” target for abuse—a child who does not fight back and is far less likely to report. Grooming is…Continue reading What is “grooming” and how do child predators target children?
Recent hazing and violence lawsuits against Mater Dei have alerted a lot of noses to a stink that has been brewing for years: decades of child sexual abuse, hazing, and cover-up at the infamous high school. The parents of a recent hazing victim remarked to me that they had had no idea about the scandals…Continue reading School for Scandal 101: Santa Ana’s Mater Dei High School
This week, the US Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB) reported that allegations of child sexual abuse in the Catholic Church TRIPLED in the past year. There is only one reason for this huge increase in reports: Statute of Limitation Reform. Survivors in many states (California, New Jersey, New York, Arizona) now have the right to…Continue reading Statute of limitations reform: A bittersweet, overwhelming success
Do I have proof of the scandal? Yes. Do a simple Google search on the Sugar’n Spice Photos of a 10-year-old Brooke Shields. You’ll read about the Playboy photos her mother approved and for which the photographer said the child felt “totally comfortable posing.” (That’s not comfort, BTW. That’s the product of grooming.) Fortunately, the…Continue reading There IS a child sex abuse scandal in Hollywood
The recent lawsuit against Fr. Richard T. Coughlin, The All-American Boys Chorus, and the Diocese of Orange has sparked a flurry of conversation and controversy online. Why? A whole generation of kids was destroyed by Coughlin. And of course, a lot of people were quick to defend the chorus and say, “Things are different now.”…Continue reading The All-American Boys Chorus and the Cycle of Abuse
The Gallup Independent does not have an online edition. The entire article is posted here. Published in the Gallup Independent, Gallup, NM, Feb. 1, 2016 Advocate publishes parent’s guide on sex abuse By Elizabeth Hardin-Burrola Independent correspondent GALLUP — As an advocate for victims of sexual abuse, Joelle Casteix has used…Continue reading Well-Armored Child Review in Gallup Independent
I am always telling parents the importance of keeping all Internet-enabled devices in common areas of the home. Many parents challenge me on this—telling me that they trust their child. It’s not a matter of trust. It’s a matter of child safety. Here’s why: From HLN: A Michigan woman is accused of having an…Continue reading Monitor the Xbox: A textbook example
Barbara Walters’ interview with convicted child molester Mary Kay LeTourneau and her once-victim-now-husband Vili Fualaau was gut wrenching. The romanticization of the abuse was awful enough. But giving a woman like LeTourneau a platform to justify what she did is reprehensible. Being outraged or upset about the interview doesn’t help anyone. But talking about her predatory…Continue reading What we can learn from the LeTourneau interview
A boarding school. Naked dance parties. Child pornography. Molestation. An arrest. A suicide. Allegations. Lawsuits. A cover-up. Total institutional ethical failure. When I first heard about the scandal at Minnesota’s Shattuck-St. Mary’s (I’ll refer to it from now on as SSM), I had a hard time wrapping my arms around the extent of the criminal…Continue reading The Total Failure of Shattuck-St. Mary’s
Amy Berg’s new documentary “An Open Secret” recently had its first (and probably only) public screening. Roger Freedman, writing for Showbiz411 had an honest and evocative review. But it was this paragraph that caught my eye: Ryan’s parents are devastated, as are all the parents. But none of them explain how their sons could be lured…Continue reading What if the parents had no clue?
The Internet puts the world at your child’s fingertips. With a few clicks of a keyboard, the swipe of a phone, or the tap of a iPod or tablet, your child can bring the beauty of the world to the palm of her hand. Unfortunately, this same power allows your child to invite predators directly into…Continue reading Internet Safety: Five tips for parents
Hollywood couldn’t have written a better plot: an all-American man plays a respected pastor and father of seven. Add in good looks and charm, and you’ve got the makings of a beloved television character. And the perfect cover for a predator. Stephen Collins, who played Eric Camden, the dad/pastor on the long-running TV series 7th…Continue reading Predators in Pretty Packages: Five lessons for parents from the Stephen Collins case
Slut-shaming, fat-shaming, victim-shaming, political shaming … we are a society in love with shame. And our children pay the price. Note: Guilt is the nasty and usually appropriate feeling people have when they have DONE something bad. Shame is the nasty and usually inappropriate feeling people have when they believe that they ARE bad. In cases of slut-,…Continue reading We need to end our love-affair with shame
It’s that time of year again. You’ve made the rounds to the local big box and office supply stores. You have scoured every children’s clothing section in a 20-mile radius for “fashion-forward”—yet “tastefully modest”—school wear. You have soccer snacks, cleats, football gear, cheer uniforms and a brand new lunch box. But there is one more…Continue reading A back-to-school “Must Have” that can save your child from abuse
Child protection officials in Rotherham, England are facing worldwide scorn for saying that they did not report the sexual abuse of 1400 children because they feared being branded “racists.” The child victims were horrifically molested and trafficked by men of Pakistani descent over a 16-year period. At the time, government officials knew about approximately a…Continue reading Rotherdam: Cowardice must never be an option
St. Louis Archbishop Robert Carlson has a lesson for all of us, and I don’t think it’s the lesson he intended. The situation: When asked by victims’ attorney Jeff Anderson in a recent deposition if he knew in the 1984 that child sex abuse was a crime, Carlson responded, “I’m not sure if I did or…Continue reading A bishop’s “epic fail” is a lesson to all of us: How to report abuse
The sexual abuse of teens by powerful adults (teachers, coaches, priests, family members) is a trauma double whammy: teens damaged by the abuse AND they are often blamed for the abuse by community members who say that the teen wanted it, was a slut, or should have known better. What these people don’t understand—but predators…Continue reading Predators, Alcohol and Teens … a deadly combination
Child molester Mary Kay LeTourneau is back in the news, but not for what you would think: Letourneau, 51, was arrested on suspicion of driving with a suspended license and booked into King County Jail. A year ago, she’d been cited for driving with a suspended license after failing to pay her tickets. She didn’t show up at…Continue reading Women abuse, too, part 2 —The predator mindset